Bridget's Blog


How To Handle Conflicts In Real Estate and In Life

How To Handle Conflicts In Real Estate and In Life


A collegue of mine shared this fantastic conflict resolution tool. Unfortunately I am not sure who the original author was, but it sure makes a lot of sense to me!   Can you see how this can be useful in dealing with co-workers, clients, contractors, colleagues and even family members?   


AAA Failsafe Feedback Framework

1. “I want to talk to you about (issue).

My positive intention for this conversation is….”


2. “I noticed / saw / heard….”
This is where you objectively state facts without emotion


3. “I was thinking….”
My opinions, fears, concerns, conclusions I drew, meaning I made, the story I told myself  (without blame, judgment or criticism)

4. “I felt….”
Feelings triggered in me (mad, sad, glad, scared) (without implying the other person
caused them)

5. “I intend / want….”
Positive intentions and outcomes I want for you, me, us, and the situation

6. “I request ….”
Specific Do Differently behaviors and actions


7. “I’m doing / owning / contributing….”
What I’m doing, the commitment I’m making, the part I’m playing in the solution

8. “I’m listening….”   

 I genuinely want to hear you and find a solution that works for both of us


Allow the other party to respond completely.  Do not allow yourself to get sucked into the blame game.


Do you think this will really work?  I sure do and now I am really looking forward to the next conflict!  I love having an action plan!!


How To Handle Conflicts In Real Estate and In Life

Warm Regards,

Bridget McGee  Maryland Mortgage Mama  NMLS# 196068  SWBC Mortgage.   410-960-2061 EHO or


If you are considering purchasing a home in Maryland and want to be sure you are mortgage ready, my brother Tony and I will be happy to help! We help to make the mortgage process a pleasure! 

If you already own your home, we are happy to provide a no-cost mortgage review to help you to determine if refinancing may be in your best interest.  Please contact me at 410-960-2061.

Comment balloon 4 commentsBridget "Mortgage Mama" McGee • January 24 2017 03:52PM


With any conversation we need to be able to step back and watch, rather than getting sucked in and allowing our emotions/feelings to take control.When wecan learn to do that consistently and remain open life improves. I think these steps go a ways towards helping with that.

Posted by Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543, Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line (Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400) almost 4 years ago

I really like number 8.  Great list of responses to keep in mind.

Posted by Belinda Spillman, Colorado Living! (Aspen Lane Real Estate Colorful Colorado) almost 4 years ago

B ridget that's similiar to a technique I learned way back in college in an Effective Listening Course.  A little 'staged' in the wording but if folks make it their own lanquage it works out better. My 2 cents!

Posted by Anna Banana Kruchten CRS CRB, Phoenix Broker, 602-380-4886 (HomeSmart Real Estate BR030809000) almost 4 years ago

Good morning, Bridget. Excellent subject.  Conflict, on various levels, is all around us... every day.   Resolving conflict is about making the other person feel heard and respected.... and tactfully explaining your position and how you came to those conclusions.  And, being open to discussion.  

Posted by Carol Williams, Retired Agent / Broker / Property Manager (Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals.) almost 4 years ago